Bittersweet Goobyes

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Chapter 5

 Two years later …
My 25th visit to the court now. Jack or my step dad isn’t giving up.
I get up to go wash my face before I leave for court. I look at my hideous self in the mirror and I see an unattractive body with an offensive frame of mind, lanky and eerie fingers, a trivial stroke of contentment and a bottomless hole in mind or rather an abyss that I am drowning in with thoughts of Rain. A pale face with black dents under my eyes, a hefty and troubled forehead with eyes that portray sadness, guilt, regret and love. Concluding this horrible journey, I see death staring into my eyes. As if it just jumped into my soul and plucked it out of my body.
‘You deserve it Emma. You did this to here. You didn’t love her enough. You didn’t care enough-
Stop…
‘You took her for granted. Her love was invisible to you. You should be invisible now shouldn’t you-
Go away!
You did this. It’s you who deserve this death not Rain-’
Stop it… Agghhh this voice in my head it’s destr-
‘I’m destroying you? Or rather you destroyed yourself!’
STOP IT!
I fall down on my knees as tears begin to pour like a waterfall creating a current of impurity. I have no choice but to confess.
                        ‘The court session may now begin.’
I’m standing in this little balcony made for the witnesses, for people to claim their crime, murder, theft. I am one of them.
They make me take a pledge, a pledge that states no lies must be stated and everything that you declare here in this courtroom must be the truth.
‘Mr. Edward, you may start the inquisition.’ Judge Judy commands.
‘Emma. Darling how are you. I’m sure you’re devastated by killing your own sister’
‘I did not-’
‘Moving on. Emma, when Rain died, your mom started drinking again right?’
‘Yes of course-’
‘Yes or no?’
‘Y..yes but she used to be perfectly fine in the morning. ’ I reply.
‘Oh so that means she must be a heavy drinker. So this habit is not an old one. A recent one. A habit that killed her own daughter.’
‘Look, my mom loved Rain. She still does. In her eyes, all you can see is love and care and that’s for me and Rain. My mom has been a nurse and a kindergarten teacher. She loves kids. She would never do anything to her patients as part of her job was to take care of the ill. She is so fond of them. She cares for them as if they are her own family.’
‘Emma your Dad jack left her for that habit. Please you can’t lie here you know that right? Ok tell me this. When her dad died, she was drinking a lot right?’
‘Anyone would-’
‘Did you when Rain died? You’re eighteen. You could have. You chose not to. Why? Because you knew you’d end up doing something you’ll regret. Anyhow, I’ve talked to a couple of your friends. They say you’re a mean, mean girl.’
‘They bully me’
‘And I’ve also heard from Courtney Kasha’s mom, you broke her nose.’
‘She pushed Rain. She insulted my family!’
‘But violence isn’t the solution, right? But like they say, a daughter is a reflection of her mother.’
I look at my mom as her face is now incredibly wet from tears, every tear that has a different story being wiped out.
‘What are you looking at? So now you look at her. What about the time when he was killing Emma. Didn’t you think about how it would affect your mother? You know what sacrifice me-
Get out of my head.
‘It means to put yourself as a shield for the people you love. However you became the knife. You stabbed her back. You were supposed to shield it, not harm it. Emma, Emma, Emma, Emm-’
Stop it please. I beg of yo-
‘Stop what? You ki-
Please I beg you, leave me al-
‘Emma, I yuve  youu’
 My heart stops for a second. Rain…
‘Youuu are the gleatest shishter in the worldddd. I yuve youuuu.’
Rain… your killing me
‘Rain’s killing you? Or rather did you kill her?’
‘I yuve you’
‘You did this’
‘I yuve you’
‘You killed her’
‘You are a murderer’
‘Emmaaaaa, look I dlew a picture of juu, me and mommyyyy’
‘Hahah you’re a killer.’
‘I killed her!’ my mouth blurts out the truth. My face is dripping with tears. I’m sobbing so profoundly that I can barely breathe and it feels like my heart is about to burst out of my rib-cage.

Continuation in the next chapter...

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